apparently the secret to your success is patron
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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