You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
