Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's shark week go big or go home
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize