Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize