Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
