Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
