i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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