dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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