From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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