My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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