you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
