i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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