wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
