once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
