Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
