You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
