i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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