new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize