As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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