I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
