apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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