You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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