Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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