it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize