When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
