Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize