No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
