we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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