You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
