If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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