dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
how does that bad decision feel?
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