You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
