Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she peed on how many people?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
