I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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