Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
