Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
