I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
