Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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