Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
