i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
