The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
