I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
