i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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