i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just want to make out with him forever
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
