he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
