fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
