I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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