You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
