When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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