I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
