Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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