what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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