Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Vodka?
Forever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Boobs are out for the taking
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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