What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
