I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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