At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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