is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
