found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
