Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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