I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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