her vagine was all disorganized.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
