I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
