I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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