I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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