Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
