woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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