i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
